Love at first sight is a lie
by HipWallflower
Summary: Rachel did not fall in love with Finn at first sight. Rachel/Finn. Sorry for the number of musical theatre references in the fourth chapter! It's a little random : Enjoy none the less. :
1. No gleek could love a jock

It wasn't like love at first sight or anything.

Really, I think it was that kind of I-think-if-I-met-him-I'd-hate-him type of thing, you know?

Sophmore year, when the Glee Club had just started up, I first met Finn. I'd seen him before, of course. But that was more of a god-of-football knowledge than the sensitive guy who sings in the shower and has a heart, even if his brain is lacking.

Kurt had called me, absolutely sobbing, saying all his lawn furniture was nailed to his roof. It took all of my self control (I have a suprising amount) to not spit my cucumber-infused mineral water all over the phone.

"What?"

"The football team did it. I'm sure."

Kurt and I weren't exactly friends, but in high school, it's the geeks against the jocks, and sometimes, even if I wanted to fight it, I couldn't just let people who were at the bottom of the hierarchy like me suffer, even if they weren't destined for greatness like me.

Lima is a small town, so I was at Kurt's place in about ten minutes. I didn't even bother to speed.

"So, how did they get it on your roof without you knowing?" I asked. Really, I sometimes thought Kurt _wanted_ it, just to have reason to hate them. Or check them out. I wasn't sure.

Sighing, Kurt muttered, "I wasn't home!"

"Then," I wondered, "How do you kn--"

"Who else would do this?"

Fair point.

So I called Tina and Mercedes (Artie wouldn't be of much help) because we didn't really have any other options.

The next day at school, I decided to confront the football team. I guess I still felt like I had to stick up for the rest of Glee. Kurt really needed to learn how to retaliate.

But, they came to me instead. In the form of one of Shue's mad ideas.

Finn Hudson, quarterback, joining Glee Club.


	2. Rachel in charge

For once in my life, I kept quiet. It was painful. But I'd become incredibly attatched to Glee, so I decided to just take one for the team and keep my mouth shut about it.

"Rachel, I'm making you and Finn leads on You're The One That I Want. Mercedes has the sheet music."

"As if I didn't know it already."

"Rachel, I have business to deal with in the office, and you are in charge. Don't let me down." I glowed. I really did. I know I seem power hungry, but I am _so_ worth it. And I needed to be in charge every once in a while. I guess that's when I really started to not hate Finn. While Mercedes and Kurt gave each other looks and sighed at my appointment to power, I looked to Finn. I knew the resentful thoughts streaming through everyone's heads, but I didn't want to think about any of that.

So when I saw Finn smile at me, I was a smidge happier. At least _someone _trusted me to take the lead.

I fell right into the roll of director and lead. I always knew it was where I belonged. I ordered, "Mercedes, hand out the music. Now, I'll go on far stage left, and then Artie, then Tina, then Kurt, then Mercedes, and Finn, you'll be on stage far right, kay?"

"Oh shut up, white girl!" shouted Mercedes. I sighed. That girl had some serious diva issues. "We don't need you to become Shue. We know what we're doing. Just shut up and sing."

Shut up and sing I did. I was getting really good at the whole selfless-for-the-purpose-of-Glee thing. I must say, I rocked it, in the most Broadway way possible. Finn, as I always knew, was not a triple threat. He sang fantastically. Really, I was impressed. But then his failed attempts at dancing and getting into character just killed me, if you could even call them attempts. But we made it through.

I took him aside after.

"You have a great voice. But ever consider getting more into it?" I suggested, not unkindly.

"Well," Finn mumbled, "I honestly didn't know I _could_ sing. So I hadn't thought about that." I just nodded and walked away, my patent leather kitten heels clicking in perfect time. I could get used to this in control thing. Just imagine, me talking, and people listening! All starting with Finn.


	3. Revelation

I give in to peer pressure a lot, but that doesn't mean I have weak character. I _can't_ have a weak character. I'm a star, after all. But, when I give in, it's really just a big plan I have going. To be popular. And, so when I win my first Tony (or Grammy. I'm not picky), and Entertainment Weekly wants to talk to the people who knew me from the start, they have a lot to choose from.

So I let Quinn use me on occasion. And tell me what to do. Because even if you hate someone, it's good for them to like you, right?

"If I see you, or any other Glee club Lima Loser suck up freak of nature talking to my boyfriend, who by the way, is a million _years_ out of your league, I will personally get the entire football team to kick your ass. And then I'll put it on Youtube and everyone will see what a loser you are." Ouch. Ouchouchouch. But, there was my popularity and possibly my career at stake.

"Okay. Hands off Finn. Got it." Quinn and her two followers passed me supremely evil looks and walked off. They looked so sad in their Cheerios costumes, clinging desperately to that chance to belong to something. I belonged to something. Glee. But in glee, it doesn't matter if you're gay or fat or Jewish or handicapped. Because glee is about belonging as you are, and not as a Sue Sylvester-drone-robot.

Anyways. I had an epiphany in Spanish class. A very, very life altering experience. Because I realised Finn Hudson is the guy for me. Here's what happened:

We were doing oral reports in Spanish. Finn was doing terribly. Actually, it was an okay report, but it was in English. Schu let him do it anyway. Anyways, Quinn looked at Finn and rolled her eyes, and he looked kind of sad, and so I shot him a thumbs up. Tacky, I know. But it was a changing moment. When Finn smiled at me, I knew it would just have to be. To myself, I hummed that line from Defying Gravity (one of the best songs _ever_, by the way). The line that says _Somethings I can not change, but till I try I'll never know_. Everything I did, I had my heart in it one hundred percent. And this, in the instant it began, was no difference. I was going to be with Finn, and Quinn, well, just like anything else, was an obstacle, and I would overcome it. Because that's what life is about.


	4. Do you want to go to Taco Bell?

It was easy to get Finn alone, actually. The Cheerios practice for three hours after school everyday, and so I got Finn to meet me in the choir room. I like the choir room. I feel like I have more power there.

Anyways, I was actually pretty nervous. I sat at the piano, played a few bars from _I am not that girl _from _Wicked_, then stood up again, and really thought about the song. It was rather fitting, in a depressing way. Finn was in love with Quinn and I was in love with Finn. I thought he liked me, at some point. But he chose her. Quinn even had the 'golden hair with a gentle curl.' Painfully true to the last detail. Was I ever going to win?

"Of course you will," I told myself, just as Finn walked in.

"What was that about?" he asked, that signature confused-yet-adorable look on his face. I just shook my head and went back to the piano. If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was sing. I was going to serenade Finn with a song. And no, I didn't realise how stupid that was until much _much_ later.

I launched immediatly into _You belong with me_ by Taylor Swift. Also very fitting. Music made me feel so much less _alone_ in the world. Other people understood this high school love triangle thing I'd fallen into. Finn smiled as I sang, but I don't think he understood how much I really meant it. And I meant it with my whole heart.

"Wow, Rachel, you're really good. I never knew you could play piano," Finn said as I finished, sitting down next to me.

Nervously tucking my hair behind my ear, I answered, "Yeah, my dads got me in lessons when I was little. I'm very multi-talented." Talking about myself and my accomplishments is a guarenteed way for me to boost nervousness.

"I know that. It's what makes you awesome, Rachel." I'm not really the type of girl to blush at every compliment. It takes to much energy. But the way Finn said it, his eyes honest and open, his lips soft, curved slightly as he said it ... I was so amazed how a boy I had imagined would always be so far below me took my breath away.

"So why did you ask me here, Rach?" he asked me. God, I hated when people called me Rach. Except maybe Finn people.

Plunking out the first bar or two of _People_ from Funny Girl, I said, "Well, I thought we could work on some songs for glee cl--"

"What if we don't? What if we just hang out? Not here. I have to pick Quinn up in a few hours, but we can drive to Taco Bell. You can tell me more about piano or something." Well, I took that offer. Pounced on it, actually. Even if we were just eating ''mexican food'' until he had to reapper for his girlfriend.

"Finn, umm, do you have a favorite show?" I could talk musical theatre with even dim-yet-cute boys like Finn.

"Well, I don't know, I like CSI." Of every boy in McKinnley, I'm here with the one who just said that? I always fall in love with dumb boys. But I still love them anyway. Finn isn't an exception. Actually, he's kind of something completely different. Because, even though I fall so hard everytime, Finn's got this potential to catch me and be so much more that I just can't let go of.

Biting into my vegetarian burrito, I told Finn, "I mean a favorite musical. Grease, or maybe Jersey Boys? Fiddler?"

"I have no clue what that means. What's your favorite?" he answered me. Which is great, because if I talk I won't think of those eyes.

"I think my all time favorite is West Side Story. But I right now I'm really into Funny Girl, Hello Dolly and the eighties make of Fame too," I said. I already had my next three answers planned out: yes, no and Cats was the weirdest thing I've seen in a very long time.

"Well, maybe you could come over to my place sometime and we could watch one of those. Hello Fame or whatever." God, that's not even _subtle_.

Placing my coke on the table, I asked, "Do you like me?"

"Yeah," he answered, "when you sing ... I can't describe it. Even people who don't like you can't help but shut up when you start singing." He's paving the way to my heart, complimenting me like that. Even if he doesn't know how much it means. He never seems to.

He also doesn't realise what I meant. Falling in love is so hard. Because boys - Finn - never see what's going on under it all.


	5. Can anybody find me?

It was after the invitational. I was back; finally arrived. All I could think was _this is bliss, complete bliss_. Singing, finding my own somebody to love, singing the same words right to me. Flipping the world order in the length of my daddy's favorite Queen song.

Does love make you a poet or what?

Certain people (ahem) didn't seem too glad I was back, but Mercedes and Tina were by me the whole performance, making sure I picked up the choreography. I'm a pretty fast learner after sixteen years of lessons, but it still helped. And everyone needs to feel like there's a _reason_ that they belong, that they have a place more than just because of talent but because someone else _wants _them there. Finn wanted me there all along, and I felt that when he sang. Even though that night wasn't about him or even the two of us, that meant something. Still, in that moment, my life wasn't just me; it was everyone, all of our oddities and dreams aligning in a way. And this kind of revelation I had. Something in me whispering in Mr Schu's voice, asking me what I wanted to sacrifice in order to become who I always thought I would be.

"Rachel, you were so good," Kurt chirped as he walked by me, and I smiled even though we'd always hated each other.

"Yeah, you saved us, babe," added Mercedes as she and Kurt linked arms and strutted off to the parking lot. Suprisingly, Puck even passed me a smile. Then Mr Schu walked over, and I prepared myself for something even better than some compliments and a smile.

Putting his hand on my arm, Mr Schu said, "You did such a great job. You really brought the team together. But what made you come back?"

"To be honest, Mr Schu," I said, "It was Finn - and, well, Artie and Tina, and the entire club." _Nice save_. "I've tried so hard to fit in -"

"And now you do."

I nodded. "Now I do. I never realised it, though."

"Rachel, god, I was so much like you in high school. With, of course, half the talent." I know Mr Schuster doesn't think I need an ego boost, but throwing that out there on the road to a deep conversation, it was the kind of thing Mr Schu even did with kids that don't have the training or ambition I do. I have always admired that, though I doubt I'll ever be like that.

I sat down at the piano and smoothed out my tie. It's really cute, I thought to myself, in an androgenous show choir way. And, my mind rambled on, Bedazzle it and it'll go with that one -

But I'm getting carried away. Because I was only thinking a tiny bit about our costumes, and really more about _how the hell was Mr Schu anything like me?_

I asked, "How were you ever like _me_?"

"You're one of a kind, Rachel," he laughed, like it was a compliment and a slight slam, "but you know, I had the same dreams. And I tried so hard for people to like me, but it doesn't even matter ten years from the day you graduate. Hell, it doesn't matter ten minutes from when you graduate." It's a nice centiment and all, but I still want to hear all those people I hate to say Rachel Berry _is_ talented, and she _is_ beautiful, and all those other things that you want to know you are.

"Thanks, Mr Schu," I said, because he was trying to help even if he hadn't.

I managed to catch a ride with Tina and her mom, and, since Tina was my best friend for most of our terrible years at McKinnley Elementry, Mrs Cohen-Chang was all over me, and 'oh my goodness, Rachel, you were great. I always knew when you and Tina would sing along to Beauty and the Beast when you were five that you girls would just rule that high school. And now look at you two beautiful ladies! Still good friends, all the boys still falling over themselves to get at you two stars.' Tina and I were united in that moment for one reason: neither of us wanted to tell her how clueless she was. We were not - are not - good friends. Tina is just the only girl I know that doesn't totally hate me.

And boys all over us? Oh lord. I notice how Tina glances at Artie, how she is so open, yet closed, and so longing for him to just tell her she has a pretty voice or that he likes the shirt she wears one day, and he just looks at her with this little platonic smile because they're so tight.

And I kind of wondered, do girls like us ever really get the one we fall for? Or anyone?


End file.
